Trying hard to feel good about eating is just not going well with me right now.
I broke an ED fear food known as salmon (because in my mind there are too many calories and too much fat content. And both of those equal failure in my head).
I am trying to feel good for eating, but all I am thinking is that I ate too much today and I am a failure and that I am now fat.
Distract self with coloring.
I also feel bad for having the chance to restrict all day and eating at every meal, even if it was the bare minimum of ED rules.
I know that I am out of it because of starvation and that this gets harder the longer I am malnourished. But it is also hard to feel good about anything I do right now.